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Humor Corner
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, The
Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she would repeat
after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go
solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word right fas 829-7761 Dallas Humphrey
up to the end of the prayer: Lead us not into temptation," she
prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
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And one particular four-year old prayed, "and forgive us our trash
baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a
better boy, it's okay. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on
the way to church service, "why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as
he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in
the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After
several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt
us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his
big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed
to the back of the church and said, "see those two men standing by
the door? They're hushers."
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus
were sitting here, He would
say "Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait".
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus!"
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A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year old
son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died & went to
Heaven," his father replied. The boy thought a moment then said,
"did God throw him back down?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could
tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and
quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny, a kindergartner, seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of
one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
as though he was ill and asked, "Johnny
what's the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my
side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"
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This last one is out of the mouth of a 3-year old: "Our father,
who does art in heaven, Howard is his name...." |
Aubrey Fillbrandt was today’s guest speaker at Sertoma. Aubrey
gave a brief vignette of an old soldier he calls August Childs.
We did not get any background on how he developed this idea but
we did learn that Aubrey is a former principal and a retired
national
guardsman. August arrived to tell us some jokes about
what it was like to be a soldier in World War II, drafted and on
his way to France in a boat. His humor was shared and then he
gave us August’s philosophy of life. He started by telling us
that August recommended that we not take ourselves too seriously
and that laughing is definitely good medicine. He then took us
through the letters in the old
soldier’s name to give us a
recipe for success. A was for ambition, U represented
unselfishness, G was for good communications (not making
assumptions), the second U was for understanding what it means
to walk in someone else’s shoes and T meant take take to say you
are sorry. August’s last name became charism, happiness,
intellect, listening, delivering on promises and sincerity.
Thank you Aubrey for a nice change of pace speech. 